how does one stay in love,

So I won't be waiting,

Saturday, December 26, 2009 @ 1:47 AM

Hello!
So I got the EAGLES award.....will be collecting it on the 28th Dec.
Weeeeee :-D

To those who show me their non-chalence, I also do not give a _____!

YAYE I TOOK SPECIAL DAY OFF NEXT WEDS TO GO OUT WITH PRECIOUS LEONG JIA NING.
I have finally put up KL picts on facebook.
Facebook super laggy nowadays.
Holiday jam? (insert appropriate laughter)

Working tomorrow once again!!!
(L)

I love you, but in a different way

Friday, December 25, 2009 @ 12:32 AM

Merry Christmas to one and all!

I just got back from M'sia, and am having a hard time uploading pictures.
So in the mean time, I'm gonna sleep.
I have work tomorrow! :(

And it hurts that you don't tell me you don't love me no more.
(U)

Sleep on this broken heart

Tuesday, December 22, 2009 @ 10:45 AM

Hello!
Reporting Live from Putra Heights, Malaysia.
:-D

JIANING IS BACK JIANING IS BACK.

Went to sunway yesterday!!!!!
Got me a wallet.
I wanted the bag I saw, it was the perfect purple I liked.
I cried abit cuz I couldn't get it.
Oh well!

Today I'm gonna go shopping....AGAIN :-D

I am so excited!
We're gonna eat at some steam boat place @ Sunway Pyramid.
Now I'm waiting for my brothers and cousins to wake up so we may make a move.

Talking to Glenys on msn now :-D
The woman is in China and like.....she says its really cold there.
She's going for hot springs!!!!!!
Man, I want to go to a hot spring i a cold country!

I miss roller blading and running and basketball and talking nonsense and walking slowly on the walkway with nothing to worry about.
Most of all, I miss you.
But it just so happpens that I heard you're not willing to show you care.
So you're trying to push me away?
:(

it was really sad to know,
(L)

You accompany me,

Saturday, December 19, 2009 @ 12:56 PM

The 'N' level results have been released as of yesterday.
Fadhir got an interesting aggregate of 10.
So proud of him (:

Glenys just flew off from Singapore early this morning :(
She'll only be back next year! :(

I had a fun time with Zai at work yesterday!
Not looking forward to work today.
I'm tired and abit sick :(

Wish you much,
(L)

Crawl right back to reality, will ya?

Thursday, December 17, 2009 @ 10:30 PM

My hair's very brown? No? Well, I don't think so.
Its natural colour, yo. Never dyed it before (:

Today was F-U-N.

I finally got my own teller card :-D
Got my new passport already!
Wow, so far 2 things crossed off my list!

Went ot this place called the Jacob Ballas Children's park.
I miss being considered a 'child' where fees to go into the zoo and other attractions were lower, and where you wouldn't feel guilty asking for money from parents because you're too naive, or where you get to have fun and nobody labels you "childish". Yes, those're the times where I wish Peter Pan were real. (:

Then again! I love it that the transformation of me from a child to an adult has gone quite swiftly, all the hurt and experiences, so I don't have to stay and relive them over and over again!

ANOTHER THING TO CHECK OFF MY LIST: POP MY PIMPLE.
I've never seen so much blood gush out of a bump before.
My mum, aunt and I were having a blast seeing the thing disappear off my face.
Of course there's a scab on my nose now.
It'll fade ^^

Today I had an initial plan to go roller blading with someone.
(cuz today's my off day)
But, I guess he had better things to do than with me.
Why the heck do I care so much anyway?

I used to tell people: "you see all those guys there? well that one is my favourite"
and that would be me pointing in your direction.
Now, I don't dare to tell people so, because you just don't feel the same for me anymore,

Arimadachi
(L)

There's no real loving you

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 @ 10:46 PM

Christmas is drawing near!

Yesterday I headed to Tanglin Mall to play with "snow".
The white flakes falling is actually soap suds.
SUPER FUN (except the part where I sucked some soap while sneezing -.- I know its dumb)

You may think: "man, Sakinah's sucha kid", well I don't bloody care you sucker! :-D
Because I had fun and you didn't!!!!!!!!!

Kay, ZUL IS FINALLY ONLINEEEEEEE.
GONNA TALK TO HIM. WEEEEEEEE
(L)

Get your heart out of this town

Monday, December 14, 2009 @ 11:41 PM

(not trying to act cute, wasn't ready for shot, ftw)

Finally bought a Christmas present for Giordano gift exchange, phew.
My pimple is 2 weeks old to be exact -.-
(GET OFF MY FACE WILL YA?!?!?!)

Zul is back from Malaysia! :-D
But he isn't online now >:(

I'm off to watch Korean drama!
(L)

Do you not care anymore, my dear?

Sunday, December 13, 2009 @ 11:19 PM

Leong Jianing just flew off tonight :(

MY THAILAND TRIP IS CANCELLED!!!!
(Inserts appropriate profanity)
Though, I plan to go to KL, Sunway Lagoon next week with my brother! :D

I hope my boss allows me to go :(
Not sure if she will, cuz its a 3-day thing,
Sigh, the holidays have been really just....ugh.
The wait for results does not make things any better!!!!!

Going to Mustafa Centre with my aunty tomorrow, yay!
I have never been to Mustafa Centre in all my 16 years of life until now so far.
There, I got that off my chest.

Recently, my boss has been telling me about her husband being her one and only boyfriend.
Like, I want that.
Too bad I had to make a couple of "wrong turns" before.
At the time now, I don't know if he's the right one.
Maybe he's just another "wrong turn".

I have been watching a new Korean drama online.
Witch Yoo Hee's the name of the show.
This is all thanks to the introduction by my very good friend, Lim Wukai :D
Now I have entertainment to look forward to every night after a back-breaking day of work!

Payday soooooon!
(L)

Is two really better than one?

Saturday, December 12, 2009 @ 11:42 PM

Tomorrow's my baby bro's birthday!!!
YAYYYYYEEEEEE.
Too bad I have work, crap.
The very least, I get to work @ City Square Mall again!

Actually I feel really crap.

So, I don't wanna act as if I'm okay.
Goodight
(L)

Give me the bad news, baby.

Friday, December 11, 2009 @ 11:42 PM

"Now don't make me wait,
I wanna know that I am your biggest mistake. "

Glenys is gonna fly off, Jianing's gonna fly off, and Zul's already out of Singapore.
RAWR, WHY THE HECK AM I STILL HERE?!
Oh yes, work -.-
Man I feel so lame right now. Like right nowwwww!!!!!

I am told to be a person who thinks too much.
Usually, I'd be flattered at sucha comment, but then it was said so negatively.
How was it said negatively?
The person used a "but" to connect the sentences.
A "but" to me is always negative.
Unless its used this way; "You're super ugly, but your eyes're pretty"
Okay, that was negative too but......nvm -.-
I'm making no sense so far.

I know what to buy for Giordano gift exchange alreadyyyy!!!!

I'm told that I'm too young to have a boyfriend.
If that is the case, I don't think I mind giving up on any boyfriend I have now.
Because I believe my boyfriend doesn't give a damn anymore.
It hurts, yeah, but it hurts more that he keeps denying the obvious fact.
I know its dangling on his tongue.
If you're reading this (you know who you are), tell me straight if you don't like me no more.

So like I've been studying how people were wearing their eyeliner.
Then I studied my own eyes.
I have ugly droopy eyes.
And the shape of my mouth doesn't make things any better.
I think I'm gonna experiment with the liquid eyeliner :-D

I want you to be the last one who texts me at night to tell me you miss me ,
(L)

Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 9:36 PM

Because running through the wind, I did not find peace for once.
Why do I get this feeling I can be more, but I just can't?
Why is it so complicated?
W H Y

My senses tell me that all this drama and mood swings are.....just me.
No matter how I shed my skin, I guess the core is always the same.
Meaning to say, I try my very best to change my ways.
In the end, it all arrives to the same thing.

Can someone be there for me please?
(L)

Blanked out

Wednesday, December 9, 2009 @ 9:19 PM

I made a horrible, terrible mistake.
I said something so......unreasonable to him.
Something I know would hurt him.
Why'd I do that?! Whyyyyy.
Hating myself now.

Has anyone been to City Square Mall?
The so-called first eco-mall (whatever that means).
I went there for work (relief duty)
For once, I felt energetic working because the environment was so nice.

I have yet to buy the Christmas gifts for the Giordano gift exchange.
I certainly have no idea as to what I should buy.
I have to buy 4 leh -.-
My pay confirm consumed totally, no profit for me.
Christmas is indeed devious in certain ways :(

Dear you, please forgive me for what I said.
I take back what I said, please just talk to me?
(U)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 @ 11:43 PM

Babe, I want you to read me for once, to be able to tell how I am and what I feel, without me telling you.

Please

Attentive, for once

@ 11:19 PM

It occured to me finally, that I'm living in something called fantasy.

He kept whispering: I'm forever
Something that I wanted to hear, to listen to.

Then I thought of something intelligent!
He just wants his own happiness. He doesn't give a damn about me. This is all a facade. A charade. Just to gain his ultimate want.
Thank God, that I have not fell in too deep.

Unlike the past few days, I thought of how I'd be with someone new.
Someone who'd actually make me genuinely happy.
Who'd never give up on impressing me because he knows just getting me is not enough.
He would work to impressing me all his life becase he wants me to stay.
I believe I'll find that some day.
I just haven't found it.

Now, I work hard to gain my daily dose of happiness.
The little things that make me happy; work, family and....being alive.
I'm really afraid of death, you see.
Its not about the pain I'll feel while dying.
But the pain thereafter.
(am i ready to face Him? for the ultimate test to reach paradise?)

I have to keep my priorities right, and straight.
I'm gonna come clean.
(L)

Monday, November 30, 2009 @ 12:39 AM

Five days since start of work has made me definitely happy :-D
Tuesday's my day offfffffff
WEEEEEEEE :-)

1. go cycling
2. buy birthday presents
3. finish planning class outing
4. plan an outing for ODAC CHR
5. Read a Novel

Those're the things I want to accomplish by this year (2009)!!!!

Glenys says she's gonna meet me tomorrow during my lunch break, yaye!!!! :-D
I missed talking to her like face-to-face.
I miss alot of people, actuallyyyyy.
Jianing, Wukai, Dionne, Fadhir, Zul, Edwin.
:-(

SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOCCER TRAINING WITH MY COACH NADIY.
in the end, cancelled cuz he never sleep enough.
Pangsai luh he -.-

Late happy birthdays to Nadhir (my bro), Jeslin (schoolmate), Shasha (friend).
Advanced Birthday wishes to Nainai (my grandma), Zul (good friend), Hidzir (ex-bestf).

So many year-end babies.
Still have more -.- INcluding Coach Nadiy, but that one can wait uh......stupid coach, hahah.
(L)

Friday, November 27, 2009 @ 8:15 AM

The Past reminding the present that it couldn't be present.

His presence relinquishes my hiding smile,
His absence causes a my sulking
style.
Oh boy how you affect me so.

They say our love can never be
true,
I never believed that since the day I met you.
But somehow things
got out of place,
I somehow got into such a haste,
when you met that
girl.

Said "boy, do you wna push me away?"
He just grabs me by the
face and says no.

From there it was where this began,
the
insecurities blew in by the mighty fan.
The mighty fan of jealousy.

I wanted him for myself,
never thinking if he wanted the same too.
So boy, I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted.
I felt so bad that you took
me for granted.

Cuz past cannot be present.

Hi, remember yesterday's post's song?
"X" that out.
Was a stupid song -.-
The above is more like.....nevermind :-)

I'm reverting more to my diary.
If you're able to spot it while you're with me, I have no problem in letting you read my thoughts.
Its a "public diary", hahah.
(L)

Thursday, November 26, 2009 @ 7:51 AM

She waits for his texts,
Sleepless for nights.
Then the screen lights up saying "hey babe, this won't work out"
She muffles any trace of sound so people knows she's upset.
He feels guilty, and tries to reach out for her.
She just screams 'no, no NO!!!!!'
When she needed him most, he casts her aside.
(to be continued)
---

Hiiiiii!
I wrote a song with like guitar chords and stuff.
Have the tune ready, just that the lyrics are left 'till there ^

Yah, if you're thinking: wow, Sakinah attention seeker much?
Then, so be it :-)
Its based on something very......me.

Anyway!
On Tuesday while people we having their prom night, I was being a loser working.
Hahah! Yes, I admit. Very loser indeed.
But hey, I enjoy working :-D
'Sides, prom didn't look like much 'nyways.

I am jealous opf certain things, admittedly.
But I feel happy for friends who enjoyed it.
Like Jianing.
AHNING AH I MISS YOU LIKE CRAP.
She was boasting how she didn't fall in her heels.
Hahahah, I think if it was me, I would too :X

K, gotta get ready for work soon.
Am loving I have something to do.
Not loving that I have to stand for 12 long hours -.-
(L)

The Holidays have finally started

Sunday, November 22, 2009 @ 6:30 PM

Primary schools have officially shut off, CCA sessions are lessening.
Meaning to say more brothers at home!
....great.

My uncle says there's a tentative plan for a diving trip to Phuket, Thailand.
Personally I'm excited.
1. Because there's more diving!
2. I've never been to Thailand, so I'd love to sightsee.
3. I may even experience my first ever stay-on-boat-as-in-live-on-it.

Life is so wondeful sometimes.
Then again when its not, you find yourself in a mental turmoil during boredom.
I always find myself stuck in mental turmoil because I'm either too bored with nothing to do, or have too many things to do with not enough time!
I have this regret of working during holidays.
I know I haven't even started....but why is it that when I find something to occupy me, better things come up?!
My mum and brothers are going overseas, without me because I'm starting work soon.
W-T-H okay.

I really hope the Thailand trip is confirmed!!!!!
So I may blow off my job. (if they refuse to give me leave)

Today was supposed to go cycling....in the end it was a no go because of someone luh.
Haiyaaaaaaah, supposed to be fun day leh, what telah happen?!!??!
Tomorrow's to be the gathering @ Sakura with the guys. (though my special guys won't be there)
Main thing: make a birthday boy's day :-D

I need a hire someone to suggest fun to me.
where can i get one'o those people?
(L)

Saturday, November 21, 2009 @ 11:19 AM

Sup.

Today had my first lesson with coach Nadiy (chey bah). It was cool.
I mean, its common sensical. Cool coach, cool student....cool lesson.
The ball also cool -.- It was patched up with red tape hahahah cuz "the black thing kept coming out". Yes, it was Akid's friend's ball. Tsk tsk, akid akid.

Kay well while I'm strengthening my strong areas, my weak areas are showing flabs -.-
MY TUMMY AND UNDER ARMS.

I want to go to the gym regularly, that's my goal for the holidays. :-D

K wna eat soon, and I'm hooked to the facebook game, gosh.
I feel so draggy and useless after not studying for 1++ weeks.
My aunt's in town! (She's just come back from M'sia)
So long, poserz!

Stay cool
(L)

Thursday, November 19, 2009 @ 10:40 AM

Someone who I may make late night calls to, without judgement.
Someone who is able to just come over to my place when I'm sad to give me that pat on the shoulder when I'm sad.
Someone who's friends with my parents, and brothers and family.
I wouldn't have to give him the "best truth", cuz he'd know what my truth meant.
He'd be my only bestfriend.

---

Hey hi hello!
Yesterday I had the best sugar rush ever :B

I think I'll stay home to do house chores today, sigh.
My dad's off to dental surgery. (I told him to be brave, hehe)
My momma's well....sleepy.

I had a dream yesterday.
I used to have this crush on my primary school friend, Syafiq.
Yah, I dreamt that I met him @ the supermarket.
And he was giving the i-know-you-however-im-not-sure-you-remember-me-so-im-gonna-let-youmake-the-first-move look.
When I did acknowledge him, we did this funky handshake. Very cool.
&we were talking like it was the best time of my life.
And out of the blue, Kamarul, my secondary school friend, popped out.
He looked pretty bummed, so then i grabbed his hand....
...and for some reason, we started doing the Waltz!
SO BROADWAY.

I wanted to go to the gym today.
No such luck :(

Had a talk with my aunt about....boys.
I kinda like it that she has an understanding and open side to her.
Too bad I can't have these kinda talks with my mum.
My aunt told me: "even if you like the boy, don't stick to one. You don't know other boys yet, so its not wrong to venture"
Kinda wise, but hard to abide.
I know for a fact that My heart misses beats when my crush is like....into someone else.
Everybody does. C'mmon, its not only me.
So, maybe when I've grown up, I'd take her words. :-)

Want
to
Watch
New
Moon,
seriously.

(L)